Category Archives: General musings

Anyone still here?

Hi guys!

I haven’t posted in a really long time. Is anyone still reading? Does anyone see this? If yes, shout HI 🙂

It’s so weird to me that I haven’t visited this blog in ages but people still visit it and read. I’m grateful! I have been using my time to try and publish more essays on other sites. Also, I found that people do not have the time to read blogs these days.. I want to try to make this writing thing a part time job.

Also, my social media keeps me busy as well so if you’re on social media, come follow me.

As I said before, I’d like to blog on medium as well so if you’d like to read content of other great writers, it’s worth it to create an account. You can find me there as well.

I have been thinking of deleting this blog as I don’t really have time to update is but since I see people still visiting, I’ll probably leave it up.

I hope you’re all doing well and if you’re one of those still reading what I post once in a blue moon, THANKS!

Rebecca x

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Can we ever stop worrying?

When my son was three years old, I couldn’t wait until he was older. He was hard to handle at that age. He had clear signs of ADD and many a times you could find me huffing and puffing while running after him. It was tough and physically draining. As I waited for him to grow up, so did his issues. The physical work became less but instead something unexpected happened. I became exhausted mentally. His issues started to keep me awake at night, wondering what the future held in store.

Whomever said “small children, small troubles, big children, big troubles” was right. When they’re young, you’re physically working hard, thinking you’ll never sleep again. But the day comes when you’re getting your nights back, the physical work becomes easier but the emotional part is getting more intense. Problems become heavier and nights are now for tossing and turning.

Then comes the time when you finally survived the teenage years. The kids are now grown and you give a sigh of relief, hoping your work is done. But a parent’s work is never done. In our culture, we marry the kids off young. Now we worry if they’re ready for marriage. Once they marry, we worry if they’re happy. Do they know how to handle married life? Will they respect their spouse? Will they find jobs? And on it goes.

I don’t think a parent can ever stop worrying about their children. Is there ever a time when parents can just relax and know their work is done? I guess it’s in the parents DNA to worry forever. But I believe that one day, the fruits of our labor will be visible and then, we can breathe and know we have done our share. The rest is up to them.

Find this post on medium, please follow me there too! https://medium.com/@orthosunflower/when-my-son-was-three-years-old-i-couldnt-wait-until-he-was-older-779471f2d4ae

View story at Medium.com

Medium and Happy New Year

I know I haven’t written in ages. First of all, I write very little these days. Second of all, every draft I write I want to try to get published somewhere for pay.

Also, I think I’d like to start blogging on medium.com. If you have an account there, I would love it if you follow me (I will follow you back too!)

If you don’t have an account, you should sign up! Lots and lots of great content on every topic imaginable. My latest post has been published there. I will add the link here and I’d appreciate a read!

Hope you’re all doing well!

Link is: Jewish New Year

The Hasidic way of dating and marriage (in honor of Valentine)

As it’s Valentine’s day today, I thought I’d reshare this popular post about my engagement 🙂
Happy Valentine’s day!

Orthodoxsunflower

As Valentine’s day approaches, I was thinking it’s a good time to tell you how my shidduch (a date or match, often leading to marriage. The matching up of a man and a woman for purposes of marriage) went. In the non Jewish world, ours is what you would call an arranged marriage. I dislike that word though because in my mind, that equals a “forced” marriage. And mine, like most others in my community was anything but. At any time you have the option of saying no.

As a girl turns 18, it gives matchmakers a green light to start calling the parents. I belong to a certain Hasidic sect so the suggestions were all going to be eligible young men from the same sect. So, as I turned 18, the phones started ringing with suggestions. If a suggestion sounded promising, my parents went ahead and made many inquiries…

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What did you always want to read about

My writing has been stuck for a while. I have enough ideas, that’s not the problem. But I struggle to find an angle with every subject. I want to tell my stories but I think stories alone are not interesting. I have to learn to find something people can relate to.  Something that makes people say: “Me too!”. That’s the hardest part of writing. To find the lesson, the universal truth or at least something bigger than “I”.

I hear writing a lot improves writing. I really should be posting more on my blog. But I’m stuck here as well. I don’t know what to write about on here. Any suggestions as to what you’d like to read more of? I think I covered most of our holidays by now. I can’t be too personal as this blog is public and as much as I’d like to think that I’m anonymous, I’m sure it doesn’t take much to figure me out.

So I’d like to hear from you guys what you’d like to get out of this blog.

Thanks in advance!

Rebecca x

G-d knows what’s best for us.

I just reread my last blog entry. I remember that night. The heartfelt prayers by the holy candles, wishing for clarity and a solution.

I’m so glad to be able to tell you that our prayers have been answered. My son was accepted into a great yeshivah overseas. It looks like it was created just for him. He is one of 8 boys. This school was created for those boys who do not fit into our mainstream yeshivas where the program is rigorous. The learning is much less, they get plenty of individual warmth and attention, there is a psychologist on staff and they have a lot of fun and outings too. They dorm there too. So far, it’s been going really well! He sounds so happy when we speak to him. That makes our hearts happy.

Sometimes, when a bad thing happens; we question why. It’s hard to see the good in those moments. But I always got strength of something I once heard. Life is like a tapestry. The back of a tapestry looks terrible. Lots of tangled strings and knots and it is just one big mess. That’s what we humans see down here below. But when you look at it from the other side, there is a beautiful picture. G-d sees that picture. Our life unfolds as it should, with a beautiful tapestry but we don’t always see the big picture. We need to trust that everything that happens is for our good. I hope I don’t sound preachy because I’m actually talking to myself here.

I can now say that as hard as that whole situation was, it was ultimately for his own good. Had he stayed in his old school, who knows how things would have turned out? I would not have found that incredible school. He is only there for a short while but I can already hear him sound less stressed, more relaxed and overall happy. I kept telling myself that whole story WILL have a silver lining because G-d ultimately does what’s best for us and it’s not always the easy way. But we have all grown from this, my husband and me as a couple and my son and my husband too. As a family, this has really brought us together.

And that is the blessing in disguise.

Thank you all for the support and for reading what I have to say!

Rebecca