Category Archives: General musings

Happy holidays! 



Happy Blogversary!

WordPress just wished me a happy anniversary. Apparently it’s now exactly one year ago that I started this blog. So much happened in one year. I remember my first post I ever wrote. It was a personal one. I posted it in several Facebook groups asking for critique. It was the best thing I ever did. It put me in touch with a great editor who wanted to give me feedback in private because it was such a sensitive subject. The advice she gave me was so helpful and she has helped me so much since. I hope she knows how much I appreciate her. I did not feel confident at all in my writing (still not so much) and I was shocked when a piece I wrote was published on a site. It was unpaid but I got so much traffic from it, for a newbie like me it was amazing! I got the courage to submit to other sites, I mean, what was the worst that could happen? They would reject me. In the end, I even had some pieces published on paid sites. I started to believe a bit more in myself. Even on my blog, I was so surprised when people follow me and read my stuff. I appreciate everyone who does.

I have come far in this one year. I’d like to think my writing has improved somewhat. I don’t say it openly in my blog because I’m anonymous but I’m actually from a non English speaking country so English is not my mother tongue. It might not be obvious from the first minute but if my writing needs improvement it’s mostly because of the language barrier. I don’t have a depth in my vocabulary and write simply.

I am proud of what I have accomplished and am looking forward to see what this year will bring. I do have some things on my bucket list and hope to achieve them this year. I thank you again for following me and reading what I have to say.

Here is to many more blogging years!

What you can do to make a blogger happy.

If you’re like me, you probably have many fellow blogger friends. You connected on Facebook and Twitter. They’re all bloggers so you come across their posts all the time. It gets overwhelming keeping up with everyone’s posts so you pick and choose which ones to read. You try to read from the ones who always support you, then you squeeze in those posts whose titles sound interesting. You read and then continue scrolling.

I, like everyone else put effort into those posts. We write things from the heart, words that are sometimes private,  at other times we strive to be funny. We all want our blog posts read. We want to know if we made a difference or if we got a chuckle out of you or if we taught you something new.

When I write a new post, I try to promote as much as possible. I post it on my Facebook wall and in Facebook groups and on Twitter. I’m hoping at least some of my friends will click on the link and read it. I get a few likes but a like doesn’t tell me much. Did she like the post? Did she click on the link? Is she just liking it to show me she has seen it in her newsfeed? Has she read it? So many questions.

I appreciate it so much when someone takes the time to type “read it” or some kind of comment on the blog or Facebook post that shows me they have taken the time to click on the link and read what I have written.

If you take the time to click on a link, why not leave a comment? Just a simple “read it” can make such a difference to a bloggers morale. I don’t know about you but I get discouraged if I think no one reads what I write. I know some bloggers enjoy writing for themselves and it’s therapeutic and it’s like their diary and so on but not me. I WANT people to read what I write. I was never one for a diary.

Whenever I click on a link, I always try to write a small comment so the blogger knows I was there and read it. If I have nothing to say, I like the post on the blog so I make it known that I did read it. A “like” on Facebook doesn’t always mean “I read it”.

Make no mistake, this is not a post how I think all my FB friends HAVE to read all my posts. They don’t. What I do want is to know when you read it. Let me know! I’m one of those small bloggers (think 10-20 views per post) so anyone who reads it makes me so happy. To those who will say how time consuming it is to always comment I say “If you already clicked on the link, read it till the end, it just takes one more minute to type a little comment”

To me, every comment is worth gold, so much appreciated. Now, as I end this post, please leave me a comment so I know you read it!

What it’s like to live with executive functioning disorder/ADD

UPDATE: In a few weeks time, I will try medication as the psychiatrist believes it might help. Edited to add that EFD is not recognized in my country so for now my condition is as described below without a name attached to it.

My son was diagnosed with ADHD at age 8. After reading about it I was sure I suffer from it too. The symptoms were all too familiar to me. The forgetfulness, the being overwhelmed by every little thing, the brain fog, the starting of projects that never get finished, the absolute impossibility of doing something I hate, like housework and so on. After his diagnosis I decided the time has come for me to get tested too. I was actually excited to start the process and was dreaming of being diagnosed and prescribed Ritalin and suddenly becoming superwoman. Ha!

The process took a few weeks as it was a multidisciplinary testing. I gave my history, they checked my IQ (No, I’m not telling you how high/low it was ;)) and other testing…  I went in for my results all ready to hear about my ADD diagnosis and lo and behold they had something entirely different to tell me. I was told I have something called Executive functioning disorder.  Essentially, if our brains are like buckets, mine is smaller than the regular person’s. So when you take all the stimulus and you put it in there, my brain gets full much quicker, hence the overwhelmed feeling. And sadly, there is no medication for it. You just have to live with your limitations.

what it's like to live with..

Imagine having a child with the same problem. You, the adult, need to make him charts, think FOR him, remember FOR him while you can NOT do these things for yourself. Yes, it’s chaos, exactly like you would imagine. I’m able to keep up the charts for a  week, then we go back to regular, same old routines.

Imagine that thinking what to cook for supper is like solving a complex math puzzle. It’s a real struggle. If you tell me what to cook, it’s much easier. Then again, let’s not even start with the cooking itself. It may sound crazy to you but when I think of cooking a meal it’s not just making soup and rice and chicken nuggets. It’s soup: Taking all the vegetables,  peeling and cutting them and then cooking and mixing. For me that’s 4 steps and that’s for soup only. Then I’m thinking rice. That’s peeling onions, frying them, adding rice and cooking. Then the chicken cutlets? Too many steps to even think about. It becomes so overwhelming to only think of all the steps I have to do that I become paralyzed. And that’s just the cooking. I think G-d knew what he was doing when He gave me a Husband who cooks.

Imagine being an orthodox Jewish woman who has to prepare two sabbath meals every week with such a condition? A Sabbath meal consists of many courses: Fish, chicken soup with noodles and matzo balls, chicken, farfel and potato kugel and salads plus dessert. We prepare this every week and that’s only the Friday night meal. By day there are fewer cooked foods but it’s still a multi-course meal. I cannot even begin to think of how to prepare all that weekly, so there comes the Husband to the rescue again. Let’s not even talk about all the Jewish holidays that are filled with meals upon meals.

Imagine the feeling of failure as I go through life failing at one of the most important ideals in Jewish culture-that of being a homemaker capable of putting nutritious food into the bodies of our offspring in order to nurture their physical and spiritual growth. And to be able to cook for the holidays and host guests too.

Imagine the feeling of shame as I cannot offer home cooked meals to my friends who have had babies or have a sick child in the hospital . Our nation is known for it’s acts of kindness for which I cannot contribute. It doesn’t help my self esteem.

While it does sound a lot like ADD,  people with ADD have the option of medication , which can help put their life together a little bit. For my condition, medication will not make a difference.

By writing this, I hope to raise awareness of this little known condition. I have some friends who consider me lazy and I’m sure many other people who suffer from this condition are perceived as such too. It’s a pity because as my friends can attest, I am not my condition. I may have many weaknesses but I have many strengths too. While I cannot manage a household very well I can give plenty of emotional and loving support to my children. I have a very strong emotional IQ and I am a great listener who can advise many of my friends. I help my friends who have problems with their electronic devices and computers. EFD doesn’t define me.

If only one person changes their opinion of their spouse/friend/child and see beyond the word “lazy” – maybe even identifies EFD- I have achieved what I wanted by writing my painful truth.