Blogging 101 assignment

After my heavy post, I think we should go a bit lighter today. I am doing the #Blogger101 course but I am very behind on the assignments. It doesn’t matter, I’m doing it on my own pace, whenever I feel up to it. Last assignment was to check out other blogs and comment on them. The next assignment I got was to go back to one of my comments and make a post out of it.

One of my comments I made was on the post of She wrote about loving black fashion. And I totally agree. Black is timeless and elegant. And it’s supposed to make you look slimmer. That’s what they say anyway.

I was always wondering why, when you attend an orthodox wedding, most women are wearing black. As far as I know, there is no law telling us to wear black. I guess some like to err on the side of caution and wear muted colors as not to stand out. We do have modestly laws and one of them is you should not stand out with (very) bold colors. That’s one of the reasons I would not wear red. But I would guess it’s mostly a “follow the crowd” thing. As most will wear black, you would not want to be the one standing out with your pink dress. And also, we do not wear black by funerals so black doesn’t have a negative connection. We mostly think of black as elegant and classy and timeless.

But I do love colors. For me, the main reason I wear a black skirt everyday with different tops is because I feel like that as an overweight person, I will not look good in colors. I keep my white skirts for the day I will be skinny (which will probably be never!)

I do feel the most comfortable in black. I try to have colored tops though to not be too dark. I really think you cannot ever go wrong with wearing black.

So, are you a color or black kind of girl?


Bunker punk tour

Since I’m an original bunker punk member, I have to answer a few questions that were given to me. Here goes:

1. What is your most prized possession?

As cliché as it sounds, it will have to be my kids. If you have read my previous blog, you know that I struggle with infertility and I lost a baby so I don’t take them for granted, they are my most prized possession!


2. How do you unwind after a long day?

For me, I love to be on social media, sitting in my favorite spot on the couch with my feet up. I have no energy for anything else. (And no, this isn’t my living room, although I wish it was!)


3. What is the one song that has followed you throughout your whole life?

Well, since I mostly listen to Jewish music, it is a song which has Jiddish lyrics and has always given me the chills while listening to it. Here is the youtube link where someone has tried to translate it in English.

4. If you could give one piece of advice to new bloggers in your field, what would it be?

Since I’m so new, I’ll go read all the advice others have given!

Now that you’re famous, we need a quote from you.

BE YOURSELF, EVERYONE ELSE IS TAKEN (oh, it has to be an original quote? I don’t have one.)


A dream reborn

Since I’m on Facebook, I have met many awesome people. A group of them, who have pushed and inspired me to start writing, have created their very own submissions website called the original bunker punks. And I’m honored to have my very first article published there. May it be the start of a writing career 😉

It’s a story about a sad part of my life and I would like to share it with you. Please read and as usual, don’t forget to leave feedback!

PREVIEW: It has always been my dream to be a mother of twins. It always made me happy when I passed a mother with a twin carriage on the street. I am not sure why I wanted this so much. Perhaps my desire stemmed from  my husband’s extraordinarily close identical twin brothers, I wanted this for my children? I didn’t have that closeness with my siblings..

Continue to read below at:!A-Dream-Reborn-by-Rebecca-Beck/c1kod/7D0015ED-5A7E-4F3A-9F9E-607FB5CCC5C7

If you’re the praying kind, please join me in praying…

In an hour, the time of Sabbath is approaching. This week, I’m awaiting it with a heavy heart. As of now, 5 of my people, Jewish mothers and children are being held hostage in Paris in a Jewish grocery store. My hope is that this will all be over by the time I go offline so I won’t have to spend the next 24 hours with my heart in my throat, wondering how all this will end. When such things happen in our community, there isn’t one Jew who isn’t affected by it. I don’t know them but they’re my people. I’m as heartbroken as if it would have been my family. That’s the beautiful part of our connection.

Jews all over the world are praying as one that they will all be released safely and return to their families. Those of you that pray, please pray that this won’t end in bloodshed.

Humanity as we know it, is going down the drain. The world has become insane. I’m afraid. I’m afraid of the future, I’m afraid for my children and the way the world will be when they grow up.

Please hug your children for me and be kind to one another ❤

(I’m not editing this because I just needed to get this off my chest so sorry for the rambling)

Who am I and why am I here #Blogging101

“Who am I” is at best a very tough question to answer. I am still figuring that out! So for now, I’ll be telling you a bit about myself. My (pen) name is Rebecca Beck and I’m 36 years old. I live in the UK with my husband of 18 years and 2 beautiful children, one on the spectrum.

I don’t consider myself a writer at all. I had some great conversations with a Facebook friend and he kept telling me to start a blog as people would be very interested in what I had to say. Well, this guy is known to be the most supportive guy on FB so I didn’t take him too seriously. I mean, he probably says that to everyone 😉

After a while, I decided to take on the challenge. As for the name, I knew my being orthodox Jewish would somehow be featured on here so I decided to use the name Orthodox. For various reasons sunflower is my flower and I thought that makes a nice name so that’s how my blog name was born.

I didn’t yet know what my blog would be about but I did know what my first post would be. That was a very personal letter that had to be written (password protected by now to protect it from unwelcome eyes). I got great feedback on it and that encouraged me to write some more.

I decided I wanted to let people feel the peace that is my sabbath. After that piece was well received too, I started thinking that maybe that’s the direction I’m meant to go in. To open a window into our religion. Not the ugly side, that has and is sadly being shown all the time in the sensationalist media. Here you will find the beauty that is in orthodoxy. To highlight our beautiful traditions. To show you that beneath it all, we are all human beings, craving the same thing every human craves. Acceptance.

That is my mission.

Why don’t I feel safe?

I am an orthodox Jewish woman and it’s something I’m proud of. I love my religion with all its goodness and flaws. There were many times during my challenges that my faith was the only thing that kept me from falling apart. I want to talk about something more uncomfortable though. I want to tell you how it feels to be a religious Jew in a world where antisemitism is rampant, shown openly or otherwise. I also want to ask some difficult questions.

I know I may seem different to you, strange even. We look different, we keep mostly to ourselves and basically live in our own little bubble. I understand you don’t “get” us. But I don’t understand why we deserve the hatred directed at us.

Now, before you start to object and say that no one hates us, I will explain to you how I feel in the country I live in. I don’t always feel safe. I always feel the need to go with another person when I venture in unfamiliar places. And while some of it *may* be in my head, I cannot count how many times I had dirty stares directed at me. Or how many times “dirty Jew” was muttered under someone’s breath when I passed by.

I’m trying to understand why I am “dirty”. I do shower every day so it cannot be that. I am a person just like you. A person with feelings, thoughts, desires and fears like any other human being. I am a good mother to my children. I try to be a good person but I have my flaws just like everyone else.

Why is my religion held against me? Why is every story happening in my ultra religious circles being spread out for all to see to criticize and to mock? Such stories happen everywhere.

Even if you don’t understand all of our rituals or they don’t make sense to you is no reason to make us feel less than. I know there are a lot of decent people out there that respect everyone regardless of religion, color or race. But that still doesn’t take away the fact that we are feeling the hate left and right. it’s not that hard to smile at every person you see, even if they are different. I don’t ask for much. I just want to be able to feel as safe as any other person out there. Not to feel scared that I, as a visibly orthodox Jewish woman, will be attacked verbally or looked at with disdain. I don’t deserve that. We all don’t deserve that.

These are some hard questions which will probably be tough to hear. But the biggest question of all is: why is everyone afraid of “different”? We are, after all, very much the same.

Blogging about different aspects of my life as an ultra orthodox chassidic Jewish woman and mother.