I just reread my last blog entry. I remember that night. The heartfelt prayers by the holy candles, wishing for clarity and a solution.
I’m so glad to be able to tell you that our prayers have been answered. My son was accepted into a great yeshivah overseas. It looks like it was created just for him. He is one of 8 boys. This school was created for those boys who do not fit into our mainstream yeshivas where the program is rigorous. The learning is much less, they get plenty of individual warmth and attention, there is a psychologist on staff and they have a lot of fun and outings too. They dorm there too. So far, it’s been going really well! He sounds so happy when we speak to him. That makes our hearts happy.
Sometimes, when a bad thing happens; we question why. It’s hard to see the good in those moments. But I always got strength of something I once heard. Life is like a tapestry. The back of a tapestry looks terrible. Lots of tangled strings and knots and it is just one big mess. That’s what we humans see down here below. But when you look at it from the other side, there is a beautiful picture. G-d sees that picture. Our life unfolds as it should, with a beautiful tapestry but we don’t always see the big picture. We need to trust that everything that happens is for our good. I hope I don’t sound preachy because I’m actually talking to myself here.
I can now say that as hard as that whole situation was, it was ultimately for his own good. Had he stayed in his old school, who knows how things would have turned out? I would not have found that incredible school. He is only there for a short while but I can already hear him sound less stressed, more relaxed and overall happy. I kept telling myself that whole story WILL have a silver lining because G-d ultimately does what’s best for us and it’s not always the easy way. But we have all grown from this, my husband and me as a couple and my son and my husband too. As a family, this has really brought us together.
And that is the blessing in disguise.
Thank you all for the support and for reading what I have to say!
Do you believe in prayers? I obviously do as praying is an integral part of my religion. We, the Jewish people have seen truly remarkable outcomes as a result of prayers. Just last week, a 22 year old new mother (3 weeks after birth) got severely ill with the dreaded flesh eating bacteria, so much so that a specialist was telling the family she wouldn’t live to see the morning. Our community and Jews worldwide came together to pray and recite Psalms non stop and we firmly believe it was the power of prayer that brought her back from the brink of death. She was in an induced coma and all her vital signs kept going only with the help of machines. Slowly they started working again and she has woken up and is alert although still incredibly weak.
Then there is something called a segulah which is a legacy left by our sages. A segulah is an action that may activate a channel (spiritual conduit) for divine blessing and a specific religious, spiritual, or symbolic act undertaken to bring about salvation.
We promise money to a charity and in turn hope to revoke divine assistance by this good deed and ask for help in a certain matter.
My son has autism. It’s an invisible disability especially by him as he is very high functioning and at first glance seems very normal. Where I live, you get a monthly child benefit payment for every kid. If you have a child with a disability, you can request extra child benefit. I have applied once and got it. You need to re-apply every few years and the time has come upon us once again. This time, they will probably send me to one of their own Doctors who will ask one or two questions and determine if we get it or not. Sure, my son looks and sounds functional but they have no clue how much therapy he needs (that costs money!) just to look that functional! And how much sweat, tears and blood goes on at home. I think it’s time to make use of a Segulah.
I promise money to a charity who sends 10 men to recite Psalms all day by a grave of a holy sage and in the merit of their prayers, I hope to be granted the extra child benefit which is sorely needed here. I’m still putting my faith in G-d, just through an extra effort. I’ll keep you updated as to the result.
Adding to say that if I won’t get the extra child benefit, I believe it’s because G-d has decided we do not need it right now and He will send us the money we need through a different channel. (faith)
I have just skimmed through a couple of published posts on Orthodox Jews from around the web and without fail, you will find those who used to be ultra orthodox and had left the fold leaving all kind of very negative comments about us. This makes me so sad and a bit angry too. It was actually a very positive article and they always come out of the woodwork to spoil the bit of good press we get. I understand they have left for a reason and I can understand that they are bitter but what purpose does it have to vilify their own people. Every religion has it’s flaws and Orthodox Judaism is no exception. But who is to say the secular lifestyle they lead now is any better? It’s not perfect either.
My point of this post is that I’m truly hesitant to share my writings outside of this blog. I am scared of their biting anti comments. Why should I work so hard at trying to make people see that our religion isn’t all bad if those few will spoil it anyway? Here I know that whoever follows me is interested in my writings but if it will get published elsewhere, I will have no control over the comments. One of my posts was published on a website and I must say the comments were overwhelmingly positive. Interesting that I get more positive feedback from non Jews than of my own people. I firstly want to sincerely thank those who follow this blog and for being truly nice and positive.
As I always say and try to do: “If you have nothing nice to say, say nothing at all” ❤