I just reread my last blog entry. I remember that night. The heartfelt prayers by the holy candles, wishing for clarity and a solution.
I’m so glad to be able to tell you that our prayers have been answered. My son was accepted into a great yeshivah overseas. It looks like it was created just for him. He is one of 8 boys. This school was created for those boys who do not fit into our mainstream yeshivas where the program is rigorous. The learning is much less, they get plenty of individual warmth and attention, there is a psychologist on staff and they have a lot of fun and outings too. They dorm there too. So far, it’s been going really well! He sounds so happy when we speak to him. That makes our hearts happy.
Sometimes, when a bad thing happens; we question why. It’s hard to see the good in those moments. But I always got strength of something I once heard. Life is like a tapestry. The back of a tapestry looks terrible. Lots of tangled strings and knots and it is just one big mess. That’s what we humans see down here below. But when you look at it from the other side, there is a beautiful picture. G-d sees that picture. Our life unfolds as it should, with a beautiful tapestry but we don’t always see the big picture. We need to trust that everything that happens is for our good. I hope I don’t sound preachy because I’m actually talking to myself here.
I can now say that as hard as that whole situation was, it was ultimately for his own good. Had he stayed in his old school, who knows how things would have turned out? I would not have found that incredible school. He is only there for a short while but I can already hear him sound less stressed, more relaxed and overall happy. I kept telling myself that whole story WILL have a silver lining because G-d ultimately does what’s best for us and it’s not always the easy way. But we have all grown from this, my husband and me as a couple and my son and my husband too. As a family, this has really brought us together.
And that is the blessing in disguise.
Thank you all for the support and for reading what I have to say!
Quite a bit has happened in the last few weeks. I have been taking the drops religiously from October. The first few weeks I saw no significant change. Then I started getting some weird symptoms. One fine day I woke up and felt the room spinning like crazy. I never had this before. I anyway had to go to the Dr for blood results so I mentioned the dizziness to her. She checked it out and told me it’s probably vertigo, gave me some exercises to do and told me it will pass in a few days. She told me that it’s probably stress that brought it on. I mentioned the frequent stomachaches I had and the bloating. She checked my stomach and told me I have IBS (irritable bowel syndrome). That is also brought on by stress.
By my next appointment by Katya I asked her if it’s possible that the drops relieve all my stress and that’s why I suddenly have all these stress symptoms? She agreed that this was the reason. She also told me that the drops force my body to unfreeze itself so I can expect lots of tears in the future.
Not long after that appointment my grandmother passed away. 10 min after I heard the news, my son came home and told me he was expelled from his Yeshivah. Devastated was an understatement. The tears flowed..
He is home now. It’s not easy to try and fill his days. We need to find a new Yeshivah and a specialized therapist for his issues. I’m leaving to Israel on Thursday for 10 days with my son as we found an organization that deals with an issue he has. We’re going for an eval and hopefully get a plan on how to help him.
I will keep you updated on how things work out.
The first of september….bringing a thrill to parents everywhere. (Well, almost everywhere, I only found out recently that not everyone starts school at the 1st of September)
My daughter started third grade today. Doesn’t matter which class they go in, there is always the anxiety when you send your child off. So many questions. Will they hit it off with the teacher? Will they succeed? Will they be happy?
When my daughter came home at the end of the day, I eagerly awaited her report. She came home with a big smile on her face which put me at ease before she even opened her mouth. Yes, she liked both her teacher for Jewish studies and her teacher for non Jewish studies. Phew! Let’s hope she will go as happily to school every day as she went today!
My son (who has HFA) started yesterday. He is now in high school called Yeshivah. There are only Jewish studies from now on and the schedule is very heavy. He has to be at the synagogue at 7.15 am for prayers and then starts yeshivah until 1.15 PM. he has a break until 3 PM where he starts again until 8.30 PM. He eats supper in yeshivah.
He was very nervous to start as he grappled with issues like; will the boys tease him? Will they ignore him? Will he have a good seatmate?
My stomach turned when I saw him off with a prayer. I was anxiously awaiting his return. When he came home he was smiling from ear to ear. He had a great seatmate, his classmates greeted him nicely and according to him, the first day was a succes! Second phew!
The dreaded first day is over and I pray for a successful year for both of them!
How did your kids’ first day go?
The school I went to in my youth is featured in our local paper. And no, the news isn’t flattering, as usual. This school is an orthodox Jewish school. They demanded of the parents to adhere to the basic minimum of modesty rules as put down in the Torah. It is within their rights to do this. There are plenty more schools to choose from if it doesn’t fit your ideologies. This school was always an ultra orthodox school. When I was little, we also had to adhere to the same rules. And since the mothers usually dressed modestly this was not applicable. These days the school has attracted a more modern clientèle which prompted my decision to send my daughter to the more ultra religious girls school. I saw that the atmosphere in that school is not what I want for my daughter. Instead of sending my daughter there and complaining all day about the lack of modesty in other mothers, I just sent her to a more appropiate school. But it saddened me because I wanted her to go to the same school I went to. The standard of education is high and it was a great school. But what could I do?
But now the school wants to go back to what it once was because they keep on losing girls to the other, more religious school so they started to enforce the minimum of modesty rules which is to cover the hair fully and to not expose some parts of the body. This is nothing extreme (for an ultra orthodox school). The parents most offended by these rules are the ones calling themselves Modern Orthodox. And you know what? We have a school here for the modern Orthodox where mothers go hair uncovered, wear short skirts or sleeves and go with pants. I don’t judge anyone who walks around like this but why get angry if a school enforces their rules? You have the option of sending your kid to the school that better fits you. Especially if there IS a school for parents like you.
But my rant is about the media. Someone influential in our community keeps sharing all our dirty laundry on Facebook. One of his FB friends is a reporter for the local non Jewish newspaper. He is having a field day with this. Of course, the next day he published the article. I do understand that it’s extremely hard for an outsider to understand our culture. You might not appreciate why we have the rules of modesty. I can bring you all the points about why we think modesty is beautiful and beauty is on the inside and all that but that here is not the point. The point is, why write about us? What do you accomplish (besides getting views and readers) besides disseminating more hate and antisemitism? I don’t read the comments anymore because they just cause me to cry. These are internal matters and don’t concern anyone on the outside. We don’t ask any non Jew to conform to our laws (unless you work in our school) so why should it matter to you?
I do not understand some Muslim laws for example but I believe in live and let live and not mixing into their business. If this issue impacts world peace or any other such important thing, report away. But what this school demands of the parents sending their kids there is not newsworthy. I feel violated. I feel personally attacked. Let’s see this newspaper report on everyone’s dirty laundry (including muslims who everyone is scared to offend) and not only on us orthodox Jews. I don’t usually rant like this but this really got me riled up. The media are like hungry wolves waiting for us to trip up so they can gleefully report and making us look and sound horrible, all in the name of
sensationalism / Journalism.